i don’t even remember like 85% of 2012

p0ndorica:

p0ndorica:

sometimes i see dudes on the internet like “ya i have a 10 inch dick” and then i eat a 6 inch subway sandwich and im looking at this sandwich and its like..idk how almost double that would be a good thing my vagina winces at the thought 

it was 4am and i compared a penis to a sandwich

pyrrhiccomedy:

milk-chiller2:

Reminder of: reason for eggplant’s name

OH MY GOD I HAVE WONDERED ABOUT THIS MY WHOLE LIFE

laugh-addict:

i saw hell with my own eyes

mollyiswideawake:

the-eleventh-blog:

iwanty0ubleeders:

can you imagine

if google just disappeared from the internet 

and then we couldn’t google what happened to it

because google was gone 

It took me a good two minutes to work out that that is a picture of a person in a translucent waterslide and not someone trapped in a human test tube in a horror film

dorkstrider:

killerkranberry:

dorkstrider:

did you know that the australian government literally changed the date of australia day this year because it was on a saturday and everyone was that upset about missing out on having a day off

remember when they pushed the time of the leader’s debate back a couple of hours because the final of masterchef was scheduled to air at the same time

advance australia fair

govinduhh:

can’t wait for titanic 4D when they actually flood the movie theater and people start drowning and they turn the air conditioning all the way down so it’s really like you’re a part of the movie 

meladoodle:

iphone-420:

meladoodle:

dude if you want anyone to feel like shit just respond with ‘ok’ to all their messages like forreal

ok

you asshole

the-vashta-nerada:

one time my older sister went on a trip to africa for her college and they went to a really rural village and all the really young kids were scared of her because they had never seen a white person before and they thought she was a ghost and they couldn’t convince them otherwise so every time she entered a room they’d start screaming

how to boys

godsgonnacutyoudown:

 

foie:

• greet
• chat
• chat
• chat
• joke
• joke
• joke
• joke
• compliment appearance
• compliment personality
• flirt
• flirt
• flirt
• hug
• hug
• hug
• hug
• hug
• hug
• amorous hug
• amorous hug
• first kiss
• kiss
• kiss
• kiss
• make out
• make out
• make out
• make out
• woo-hoo
• woo-hoo
• woo-hoo
• propose

lynzave:

geezjenner:

lynzave:

I’m legitimately amazed at the fact that women can actually grow a person in their uterus without even trying

and then the people CRAWL OUT OF THEIR VAGINA

COVERED IN ECTOPLASM 

AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO KILL IT LIKE THAT’S A COMPLETELY NORMAL OCCURRENCE FOR US

I don’t think the person writing this realizes that they crawled out of a uterus once

I was a C section check your privilege

awkwardvagina:

me and my girls on the way to prom

patrickandmarcus:

this is riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma

juvenialls:

shewasahurrican3:

epic-humor:

juvenialls:

once i put my mum’s bras on a ceiling fan because i thought it’d be a funny prank but then some people came over to look at the house and i didn’t have time to take the bras down so when my mum turned the fan on bras flew all around our kitchen and landed on the people and like no one wanted to say anything so we acted like bras weren’t strewn across all of us

X

Can I have a kid like you

i’m an adult

phonographzerohash:

bless u cyborg